Sunday, 20 August 2017

The Issue with "Feminism"

The older you get, the more the ideology of an Utopian society gets sillier.

However, certain matters within the realistic world seem too ridiculous and should in fact reflect the paradigms within the perfect world.

The word feminism has earned a negative connotation within society with the theatrics of the bra burning individuals with hairy pits. Hence, when feminist is used within my self identification and what I stand for, I get eyes rolled at me with the occasional oh not another one of those gander.

Feminism doesn't stem on the importance of being able to walk shamelessly without a bra, it is so much more than that but I can understand where the complications come from. Within my feminism studies I learned that the very definition of feminism is equality. Equality means equal rights, opportunities and treatment between two sexes and anything in between. But how can a word with the root word being/ relating to women stand for equality? When feminism began through suffrage (first wave feminism) it was for the purpose of women and only women. As it evolved it began to incorporate elements of sexuality, gender along with gender identification. Maybe the fight for equal rights would not be received negatively if it was changed to "equality".

If you're going to fight for equality why don't just call it equalism. I am an equalist. Yes, I created my own word. This is just my two cents, they are a lot more parties that need to be accounted for if this world is gonna survive. While it's okay to be pro-women, I'd rather be pro-humanity and with the evolution of time certain matters that use to work in the past need to have some sort of revamp (just like the print industry but that's a whole other matter).

Anyway, what inspired this was being in a situation where women intimidated and criticised each other. I am so thankful to be from a college where the girls worked together to build each other up; helping each other out wherever we could and we never turned it into a competition. This was my Utopian community until I left and joined the "real world".

What I hope is that women continue to build women, and human beings continue to build human beings. And most of all I hope I don't fall prey to a world of competition as I evolve into more senior positions. Our generation is said to be a very lazy one, and while some us don't actually contradict this, we may very well be the generation to change the status quo.

Cheers to humanity.

Tuesday, 28 March 2017

How to Trick Someone Into Telling You Their Name (After You Forget It)

Hey friends!

So I have serious issues remembering names and sometimes I manage to wiggle my way out of it, I repeat sometimes.

I'ma share some ways to help you out! I must say that these usually work within social situations not exactly professional scenarios.

1. Ask them if they have a pet name
This may help jog your memory if it is at all similar to their real name, for example I had this friend who's name is Aina Sofreena and she told me her mom calls her "Nana." That helped the train ride a lot more comfortable!

2. Ask to see their ID tag
Well, this works for college students who usually have their ID tag with them. There was this guy who I'd have many conversations with and he would always say "Hi Haezell!" Hence, I never had the heart to tell him that I forgot his name. Instead I was like "Hey, is that your ID tag? Can I have a look, please?" Obviously, he asked why. I responded saying I'm just curious and I'd like to see what you full name is. Worked like a charm, Did this just yesterday. The next step is to strike up a conversation about their name. Just bullshit.

3. Introduce this person to another acquaintance or friend
Get your friend to introduce themselves to this person saying "Hey, I'm... and you are?" It could be that simple and this works well in professional scenarios as well!

4. Ask them what their full name is

5. Ask for their contact number/ Facebook/Instagram account
When saving or searching for their name ask them how to spell their name for the former and what their handle is for the latter. The former method will not bode well for you if their name was super simple like Sarah or Sam but then you can additionally employ method four.

And if all hell fails just go "Hey, friend!" Like I always do, but I do that to everyone it has become my signature move.

Anyway hope this helps, bye now!

Monday, 6 February 2017

Beyonce’s Formation Music Video within Edward Said’s Orientalism Theory

Storey (2009: 167) highlights that the concept of race has been articulated through the human insist of division. He further extends that this in itself is a notion of racism because although biologically there is skin tone variety, the act of distinguishing them is placed within social and political context – having the signification mean something as opposed to just being physical difference. Gilroy (1991: xxii) argues that “race” is a virtual reality given implication only due to racism. He extends that social and political environment and ideology constructs “race” which are the sustaining components within “racialization” which have characterized capitalist development (35). This paper will explore a detailed analysis of iconic pop star Beyonce Knowles’ Formation music video using the approach of Orientalism by Edward Said.

The music video is centred on African American pride particularly the black southern side. Beyonce illustrates her history of southern identity through the cultural practice, features and issues of New Orleans. The video reflects on the images of Hurricane Katrina, Mardi Gras and the Black South. Natural hair focus, Beyonce sitting on a sinking New Orleans police car and a young African American boy dancing in front of police officers, followed by a graffiti stating “stop shooting us” are all key messages of the music video. Furthermore, typically a woman’s dancing within music videos are highly sexualised however, in Formation, the choreography focused on strong movements with Beyonce and other African American women portraying flair and confidence, reflecting black southern nightlife from parades to clubs where there are drum majors march and twerking (Robinson, 2016). She reminds the audience where she is from; her parental roots: “My daddy Alabama, Momma Louisiana, You mix that negro with that Creole make a Texas bama.” Cultural pride is represented largely within the lyrics and video – “I got hot sauce in my bag, swag,” images of women sitting in parlours fanning themselves and twirling umbrellas is all in reminiscent of the sartorial splendour of black New Orleans (Robinson, 2016). In addition to that, “Mardi Gras and second line imagery pepper the video, offering a celebration of the city that accounts for the black and indigenous cultures  that created and sustain it through their labour” (ibid).

Turner (1996: 6) argues that with the examination of popular culture and the attempt to understand it – the political aspect allows us “to examine the power relations that constitute this form of everyday life and thus reveal the configurations of interests its construction serves.” This particular popular text was chosen due its political nature in dealing with race which can be configured utilising the theory posed by Edward Said. Moreover, racial issues constitute much discussion within society and it is interesting to view it from a popular culture standpoint. From this point of view, investigation of "race" in mainstream culture would be the investigation of the distinctive courses in which it has and can be made to connote.

Said (1985: 89) asserts that “the Orient was a European invention” – whereby “Orientalism” is the relationship between the Orient and Europe particularly, the defying quality the Orient has brought towards the West via the contrast in image, idea, personality and experience. He claims “Orientalism as a Western style for dominating, restructuring, and having authority over the Orient” (ibid.). Basically, it is a “system of ideological fiction” (pg. 321) where power is at stake. Hegemony by the West over the Orients exists from the supposed difference between the two where “the West … is rational, developed, humane, superior and the Orient … is aberrant, underdeveloped, inferior” (pg. 300).

Storey (2009: 173) argues that within the context of Orientalism, Hollywood representations don’t have to succumb towards being historically accurate; ‘true’ or ‘false’ don’t carry much weight. However, in his Analysis of Culture (1961) Williams claims that a thorough cultural analysis can only happen if the historical context is taken into consideration. This is because in actual fact, what is integral is “the regime of truth” (Foucalt: 2002: pg. 131) that is practised, stating that Hollywood power is not a negative entity – in fact, it is productive (Storey, 2009: pg. 173). Caliendo and McIlwain (2011: 184) assert that “the theoretical framework of Orientalism derives primarily from Michel Foucalt’ discourse theory and Antonio Gramsci’s concept of hegemony.” Storey relates this supposed theory to Foucalt’s understanding of power to Hollywood’s power claiming it doesn’t ‘repress’, ‘censor’, ‘abstract’,  ‘mask’, or ‘conceal,’ on the contrary, “it produces reality; it produces domains of objects and rituals of truth” (1979: 194). Similarly as to how it can be applied within a Hollywood framework, it can also follow the same application within Beyonce’s Formation. Hurricane Katrina was a highlighted topic in Beyonce’s video depicting ruins of the city after the occurrence of the disaster – her video even began with a narration asking “What happened at the New Orleans?” Hurricane Katrina, the most expensive natural disaster in American history, killed nearly 2,000 people and displaced one million (BBC News, 2016). It largely affected the city of New Orleans, in Louisiana and until today George Bush’s slow response in aiding the victims remains a wellspring of profound disdain in the city (ibid). According to Sommers et al. (2006: 6) the lack of support from the government stemmed from a racist standpoint; general population of the victims are African American deeming them unworthy of help. The media is a channel that has the power to influence and shape the public minds (Happer and Philo, 2013) and hence, the media portrayal had to depict their “regime of truth,” claiming the government had helped efficiently. The coverage for Katrina was extensive, and the media was criticized for heavily proclaiming the governmental support (Carr, 2005; Kutz, 2005). Also, many public figures consciously chose to use the word “refugee” in referring to the victims (Sommers et al., 2006). Jackson and Sharpton (2005) argue that this is act is racially biased because it avoided the primarily African American victims and implied they were less than full citizens. 

Althusser (1971) claims a  problematic contains “the  assumptions,  motivations, underlying  ideas,  etc.,  from  which  a  text  is  made.” Storey (2009: 72) further explains a text structure is derived from just as much by what is absent (what is not said) as by what is present (what is said). Althusser argues that to fully understand a text, it requires awareness of text content and also the suppositions which inform it (it may not be evident in the text itself in a straightforward, obvious manner but exist only in the text’s problematic). Storey (2009: 72) mentions that as an Althusserian critical practice, it is important to deconstruct the text to disclose the problematic; the act of doing so is what Althusser calls a ‘symptomatic reading’.

Beyonce through this practice created her own “regime of truth” within Orientalism where she discusses the fall of New Orleans. This would seem contradictory to the Orientalism theory where only the West had the power to create reality. Caliendo and McIlwain (2011: 185) draw attention to Said’s ignorance on hegemonic power that exists within the Western discourse itself. Clearly, Beyonce is a true testament to his lack of exploration within non-white cultures. “Earned all this money but they will never the country out of me” is a continuous verse in her video claiming that despite all her success she still stays true to her roots. The chorus which states “I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow-bone it, I dream it, I work hard, I grind until I own it” and “I go off, I go hard, Get what’s mine, I’m a star, Cause I slay” visibly portrays her power within obtaining what she wants. Through her hegemonic status, she has the power to illustrate key messages to send out messages to her fans and maybe even indirectly towards the governmental scrutiny. She was also strategic by intentionally releasing it during the Black History Month, particularly on African American racial victims’ birthday; Trayvon Martin’s and Sandra Bland’s to further instil her message (NPR, 2016).
Beyonce even touched on police brutality towards the African American community. Her video conjured images of a young boy dancing in front of police officers as well as hands being held up before seeing the words, “Stop shooting us.” Storey (2009) highlights a plot within Said’s Orientalism approach where there “whites, who because of the supposed power of their racial heredity impose themselves on the jungle and its inhabitants”. This is exemplary towards the police force’s unethical conduct of racial violence towards the African American community. She garnered the use of a pop platform as a powerful paradigm to bring about the necessary attention towards racism and marginalized groups, telling an important story about the black South (Robinson, 2016).
Kim and Chung (2005: 73) point out that despite Said’s primary focus on Europe’s relations with the Middle East and South Asia, the “political ideologies” and “cultural imageries” indirectly have hegemonic dichotomies that assist in deciphering the interplay of Orientalism dynamic in America – Orientalism has a notion of white power to justify its dominance. In Said’s view, many white men colonialists equated the colour of their skin with a “superior ontological status” and the power to rule the rest of the world (Jouhki, 2006: 32). Also, Hill (2000) highlights that attractiveness is culturally constructed, influenced by racial aesthetics. Charles White in ‘An account of the regular gradation in man and in different animals and vegetables’ (1795: 168) wrote that the white Europeans are the most distinguished from bring a “brute creation” and hence, considered the most attractive race of them all. In the American community straight, blonde hair is considered to be the ideal look, which is contradictory towards the natural African American features (Clayson and Klassen, 1989: 200). Weitz (2001) says that many women dye their blonde due to the perception that being blonde is more attractive. However, in Formation, Beyonce opposes this, proudly accentuating typical African American features such as afro hair and large nostrils; “I like my baby heir with baby hair and afros, I like my Negro nose with Jackson Five nostrils.” Beyonce’s daughter is seen flaunting her natural hair along with a couple other young African American girls. She also conjures images of African American men with the afro hair, holding basketballs. Within this context she challenges the supposed norm of what is considered attractive. 

Despite this, there is a contradictory factor within her music video as she is blonde while all the other women are brunettes, celebrating their black hair. Why is Beyonce blonde despite having chosen African American women with only black hair to star in her Formation music video? According to a research conducted by Advertising Age (2013) Beyonce as a blonde made for a more popular advertisement. Beyonce featured in two advertisements for fashion company Hennes & Mauritz (H&M); in one of it she is blonde and in the other she is a brunette. Although both ads feature the same song and similar dance choreography, the ad where is a blonde scored significantly higher with the targeted audience (ibid). Specifically 16% of consumers mentioned the singer by name in the former ad compared to only 7% of consumers referencing the singer by name in the latter ad (ibid, 2). In her efforts to suppress racism, Beyonce still needs to adhere to her role as an entertainer, prioritising what her fans want from her as it affects her success. In this case, a blonde Beyonce may actually pave a more successful career pathway compared to a brunette Beyonce. Despite the efforts to form an independent standpoint away from Orientalism features, Beyonce failed to do so in every single aspect in her music video. References towards Orientalism are still prevalent. For example, in the lyrics “You just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay, I just might be a black Bill gates in the making” refers to a white counterpart, succumbing to white supremacy as a symbol of success. Gramsci (2009: 75) exercises the ‘hegemony’ term as a reference to the way dominant groups in society win the consent of the inferior groups in society. Beyonce’s reference towards a white counterpart (Bill Gates) illustrates the indirect representation of how a dominant group has gained approval from its inferior group. While Storey (2009: 11) on the other hand mentions that hegemony theory presents an opportunity to “locate the struggle between resistance and incorporation as taking place within and across individual popular texts and practices.” A large identification of resistance can be seen within the Formation music video framework however, this particular Bill Gates reference and the blond hair can signify the incorporation side of Storey’s theory, proving white supremacy and hence, Orientalism still exists on some level within the American society.
Mohanty (1989: 31) brings to attention that projects that focus on difference whether it may be of gender, class, race or other cultural context pertain a homologous relationship between one another. Applied within Orientalism, race and gender play a role in hegemonic power; white males being the most superior. Lewis (1996) points out on the off chance that we take the classifications of race, class and gender as neither restricting persecutions nor as analogies for each other, referring to Kaplan’s point of “reciprocally constituting each other through a kind of narrative invocation, a set of associative terms in a chain of meaning” we can truly understand the interplay between these features and comprehend the signification. Furthermore, Yeğenoğlu (1998: 4) explain that within post-structuralism the entity of the word “man” being synonymous towards the human race is socially constructed by hegemonic qualities of European white male within Orientalism. Beyonce takes on a feminist value in her Formation music video with African American women power entitlement and strength which oppose all these predicament featured by Orientalism. The women are seen embracing the splendour of the community (fanning themselves, twirling umbrellas in the parlour) and having strong choreography movements such as their clenched fists in the air. In fact, largely Beyonce’s lyrics consist of the chorus; “Okay ladies, now let’s get in Formation.” Furthermore, the intersection theory suggests that the multiple elements of social stratification including race and gender can mount towards multiple disadvantages for some groups of people (Macionis, 2005: 305). African American women face a “double disadvantage” within society due to being secondary in terms of race and gender (ibid). This theory is typically placed within an economical, job scope context. Despite this disadvantage Beyonce doesn’t fall prey to its drawback; “I might get your song played on the radio station,” and “I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making,” connote her power and ability to be at a position of wealth and influence. In fact, her song ends with “Always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper” when analysed connotes the defeat against Orientalism. Through her hard work, she shows that it is possible for an African American woman to conquer the supposed hegemony they face and rise above it to hold their own power.

Bennett (1986: 20) asserts that 'the people' alludes neither to everybody nor to a solitary gathering inside society however towards an assortment of social gatherings which, despite the fact that varying from each other in different regards (their class position or the specific issues in which they are most quickly drawn in), are recognized from the economically, politically and culturally different groups and are henceforth possibly fit for coming together – of being sorted out into 'the people versus the power bloc' – if their different battles are associated. Based on this theory, it could be possible that many people within the layers of the African American society could relate to Beyonce’s Formation video as a medium of ‘the people versus the power bloc’ due to their past, coming together, directly making her video a popular text in relation to the Orientalism theory posed by Edward Said.

The struggle for political African American modernity is that it “did wonderfully elevate the slave and prepare him for citizenship with the one exception that it legally denied human rights to the slave (1878).” This struggle prevails within today’s community although with the many efforts on various platforms such as the popular text presented by Beyonce helps to curb this issue. Gaines (1996) theorises that “the violent denial of black political and economic enfranchisement facilitates the Formation of cultural politics.” From the discussion it can be seen that pop icon, Beyonce has the ability to oppose many of the qualities grounded within Edward Said’s Orientalism theory, as seen in her Formation video. It encapsulates the ability of the African American community to have a higher hierarchy position within society within economical ground and having a voice.
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Wednesday, 12 October 2016

The Thing About Confidence

To the girls that think I'm confident, here's the truth.

I am confident but ironically at the same time I am highly insecure, for many reasons.

Due to a body positivity video that my friend did, many seem to think that my head is well above the water, I swear there's so much more going underneath.

The truth is, just like you, I have many areas I despise about myself.

I have blemishes on my face which I have been trying to get rid off for the longest time.

Every Monday for about three months I got Vitamin C injections. Yes, I faced weekly wraths of a needle that were very expensive by the way; they helped but I screwed it up. My skin condition improved significantly but I ruined it via my own stress handling methods.

Make-up (in particular foundation) has been an integral component in my life for a couple of months. I used to be one of those girls that could just walk out make up free, hair not done. Not anymore. Sometimes even when I am at home I need it to feel better about myself, when I walk past a mirror and I see the scars it takes a toll on me. I'm someone who has dealt with many people with psychological and emotional problems including depression. It is a road I feel our generation is easily subjected to and when I start feeling down, I indulge in it but I don't let it consume me. I think this is so important for girls AND GUYS out there, don't fight away the feeling but at the same time don't get too caught up in it. I know it is difficult to find the balance but it is so important. Depression is a painful path not only for the individual but those around him or her.

To avoid falling into that trap, I find ways to garner some happiness. Make-up is one way. If I feel completely shitty one day, the next day I make sure I look hella fine and I go out and have a good time. Get your mind off whatever's bugging you. Got boyfriend troubles? Go dancing! Financial problems? Run. Whatever works for you.

Also, I've been experimenting with my hair and honest to God I do like the blonde I have on now BUT I only feel pretty when it goes hand-in-hand with eyeliner. I was watching this episode on The Real and Jeannie was talking about how when she was younger she was so insecure that she felt she needed make-up all the time. Well, in my case I know my hair fades me out so I need that contrast of black strokes across my watermark. I am not saying you should depend on make-up, I am just saying everybody has their reasons, everybody has something they are insecure about and I don't know we are just trying to cope.

Now, let me go into the confidence that you see. I have got to a point in my life where I am okay with my body, I honestly am. That doesn't mean I don't get upset about my love handles, of course, I do but I don't hate my body anymore.

And to be completely honest with you, it was a journey that involved a growth within myself as well as positive and loving comments from others. You see you tend to notice what is wrong with you when other people mention it and it stays with you for so long and then you get very insecure about it, comparing yourself to other people, micro-analysing each negative aspect. 

Now and this is very important, the complete opposite holds true too! I only started loving myself when someone else, someone very dear to me started pointing out all my positive attributes. I was shaken up, I've never seen myself in that light before. I tapped into what she saw and the more I did, the more I found out that other people had the same opinion about me. I swear the boys who made fun of me are the boys now trying to get me to go out with them. And to be completely honest, one boy did actually succeed. 

With this new found confidence, I started enjoying a significant amount of favours, discounts, and freebies. It is an enjoyable category to be in, people feed off your energy I guess.

The truth is external parties do make a difference, so if you have a chance to compliment someone, do it because you could be changing their life. Be honest about it though. While having said all this, you will come across fucked up assholes in your life who have no social cues. It is challenging but do not take it to heart, they are dealing with their own insecurity and envious issues. And some think they are being funny. Just fuck 'em.

Wednesday, 5 October 2016

I Don't Care, I Love It

My boss stumbled upon one of my videos of its typical eccentric behavior and said that I'm sure some people don't like your "loudness." While this bodes true of course, I'm sure to many, I don't care. I have so much fun, like crazy, innocent, genuine, solid fun. Oh my god, I'm so lucky. I really am. I don't have any massive problems. Sure, a 10,000 word dissertation inclusive of research with the additional Photoshop subjects may pose a challenge, but I'ma pave through as I always do. As all my classmates do. I'm with a talented bunch.

I'm lucky because I'm happy. I'm lucky because I laugh. I'm lucky because my daddy loves me. I'm lucky for my girls, and Sathis who is kinda like one of the girls.

I think it easy to forget to be happy when you grow up with the responsibilities that keep piling and the reality that starts kicking in. I swear I've met some funky individuals with serious issues that I had to learn to deal with and not let affect me. It wasn't easy. Sometimes I'd really like to reciprocate with a slap but I'd like to take the mature route.

I've decided to attempt to be a better individual this year. So far, my progress is slow but I'm working on it! I really am.

So, I guess this post doesn't really have a point to it. It is just my way of expressing my gratitude for all my fun, all my laughter and even all the tears shed this year. I cried thrice for my photography assignment. And FYI, I got a B! My lecturer said I had a high potential of failing! An F to B! That's not so bad, of course I have people like Crystal and Justin to thank!

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

I'm A Grown Up

My Facebook news feed has been plastered with people leaving Malaysia and pursuing escapades overseas. I am filled with envy witnessing all these people seek independence and exploration while I serve people coffee and master the art of lip-syncing. Don't get me wrong though, I love my life, it is pretty darn great.

I'd just really like to travel though, get out of my comfort zone! But I was not built with the guts to branch out of Malaysia, I think. I know some of my peers are leaving to pursue their studies, it is not exactly a vacation but still, they are on their own. I think I'm a pretty courageous person but I don't think I'll ever muster the courage to leave daddy behind and actually move past international borders. So kudos to you people who have done it.

Jan, I can't believe you have left for the UK. I know we had a fall out recently, but to be honest I didn't actually think I'd miss you as much as I do. We weren't exactly seeing each other these past few months but I knew you were within close quarters -- and I felt comfort in that. It is so odd that you're not here anymore.

This customer was talking to me at work and I remember saying "When I grow up..." and she asked aren't you already grown up? That hit me hard. I'm a grown up. Jan, we are all grown up. We are adults. We are in our final year of tertiary education. In less than a year, I will be a working adult!

I remember when you were Hariram's girlfriend in Standard 3 and as usual I was the third-wheeler (some things don't change) and remember our "F-Language" converse and silly sign language?! Why didn't someone warn us that it will be so different?

Things I need want to achieve within my adulthood grace:

1. A Successful Career
2. Fall in Love
3. Stay in Love
4. Have a Family
5. Travel

So maybe traveling isn't for me now, but that doesn't mean it can't be in the future. I'd settle for Paris and Rome. Actually to be honest, to fall completely and madly in love and stay that way will keep me satiated.

Thursday, 8 September 2016

I Loved & Lost

Two months was all it took me to fall in love with you, two months. I couldn't get enough of you. We'd spend the whole school day together and as soon as I get home, I'd call you because I missed you that much.

But it is different now. The girl I fell in love with was replaced by someone else. I hated this girl for a while because she stole my best friend. She looked the same but acted completely different.

When we were teenagers you had your group of friends that had a very tough time accepting me. And I never fail to have watery eyes every time I recall what you said: "It is either she's in or I'm out."

You loved me so much so that you'd sacrifice a huge part of your life and when you got sick, it killed me. Seeing you on that bed, made me want to cry but I had to keep it together. I remember it was during the final week of my semester and Miss Nat told me that all I can do is be there for you. And so I did. We all did.

From sweet and caring you became sad and lonely and then selfish, desperate, greedy and foolish. It is not like I'm worried about you anymore but more so that this person I see is different. Completely someone who's values I don't share or respect.

The truth is I hate it when the girls talk about you, it literally makes me cringe on the inside. Because I know I am not going to get back the girl I hung bras with on the ceiling fan and the girl I fell with three times at sea on that ride. Oh Lord, that was the best trip of my life! We laughed so much, Widad, we laughed so much. Completely, utterly, passionately in love.

We all know what a bitch I was in high school, I mean I literally didn't give a damn about anyone but myself. However, after an SPM paper, I hugged you in your car in front of the examination hall, you cried. I cried. I couldn't see you like that. You did the impossible Widad, you made me care.

To be honest, I think about you everyday but I don't let myself go too deep because the truth is I miss you and I hate saying that but I do. And like today, I thought about you a little too much and I talked to you, of course, you just talked about yourself and your silly escapades but still, for some reason, I fell off the wagon.

My greatest fear is losing people I love, and well I lost you.

But I now know for sure that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

I used to think we had the greatest love affair. I don't regret loving you at all.